Mediation Matters when Relationships Break Down

When relationships break down it is often very difficult to know where to start in sorting things out. There are lots of things to think about as well as dealing with the emotional fallout.  You may be worried about your income and how everything can be afforded, whether you might have to move home, the effect on the children, your longer-term future, and pensions.

You may want to talk to your former partner about all these worries but find it difficult to do so. You may wish to think about finding a way to open a conversation with your partner but in such a way as you can both be heard. You may wish to sort things out as amicably as possible to so that you can remain on friendly terms, especially if you have children and for the wider family. You may also be worried about legal fees and how advice can be afforded.

Mediation may offer you and your former partner the solutions that you need to reach agreement without too much cost or stress.  You may also be aware that in April 2024, the law changed. People are now being encouraged to settle their disputes about their children or finances outside of Court. You may have heard the phrase “Non-Court Dispute Resolution” (NCDR).

People are now asked only to resort to a Court application after they have considered other ways to resolve their issues, and if they are in Court proceedings they are still encouraged to consider alternative methods of resolution.

We know that the Court system is overstretched, and applications take much longer to resolve and are often at an increased costs for parties. It is important to think of other ways to sort out family problems without taking things to Court.

If you are thinking of issuing a Court application in relation to child arrangements or finances, or if you are already embroiled in one, let’s look at whether mediation provides an alternative way to settle matters.

Mediation

If you decide to mediate, then you will be invited to a confidential Mediation Information and Assessment meeting (known as a MIAM). This meeting will provide you with the opportunity to meet with your mediator, get to know them and to let them know what worries you and what solutions you hope for. Your partner will also be invited to a separate MIAM. If after these intake sessions there are no safeguarding concerns and the two of you decide to mediate, then the first mediation session can be set up with both of you and your mediator. A mediation agreement will be signed and the two of you will then be in mediation.

Mediation sessions are designed to help you both to communicate and find solutions that work for you and your children. Your mediator will facilitate discussions, signpost, guide, and assist you both to problem solve and arrive at an outcome that works for you. . Your mediator will ensure that you both have a voice, can express your views and be heard. They will be impartial and keen to ensure that meetings are balanced and fair.

Mediation can be used to help resolve financial issues and issues concerning children, but it can also be used to sort out other family problems, for example to assist grandparents.

Discussions will take place in a safe and confidential setting and meetings will be tailored to your needs and move at the pace you both want.  Your children can be the focus of discussions. If finances are being discussed, then full financial disclosure will be required and any proposals discussed will be privileged so you can check things with your legal advisor before you reach agreement. Other professionals can be brought into meetings to assist with knotty issues such as family consultants, accountants or financial advisers. You both will remain in control of the process and can make sure that all the important things are talked through and sorted out.

Mediation is a cost-effective and efficient way of sorting things out, and a resolution might be found in 3 to 5 meetings.

Mediation can happen face to face or remotely and even in separate rooms (shuttle mediation) if needed.

Mediation can happen alongside Court proceedings and may be ordered by the Court. Proceedings can be put on hold to allow mediation to take place. Parties are always encouraged to try to find their own solutions if possible.

In summary

Mediation offers a way to resolve matters more swiftly, cheaply, and less stressfully than through normal court proceedings, allowing you to reach outcomes tailored to you and your family.

If you would like to find out more, please do not hesitate to contact our family team. Our Margaret Sculpher is a trained Mediator and here to assist you.